


Bad Night

by ShiroAmeKasa



Series: "Chara was...troubled." [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Female Chara, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:08:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6830914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiroAmeKasa/pseuds/ShiroAmeKasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bad memories bring bad habits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Night

Chara tossed and turned in her bed. It was like this every night, waking over and over to the exact same nightmare. She always turned toward her brother's bed when this happened, watching Asriel's sleeping form.  Watching him sleep, his fluffy dopey face; this usually helped for the first few times.

The other 20 times, not so much.

It always seemed to reach it's worst at 2 or 3AM. The old lingering depression would set in as did the nightmares and painful memories.  Sitting up and looking out the window into the dark underground, like every night she traced her fingernails over her wrists and occasionally glancing over to her sleeping sibling making sure he still slept. She pretended that she didn't want him to wake up.

It was struggles like these long nights why she kept a knife hidden beside her mattress. She smuggled it in however long ago when she and Asriel were left home alone.  They had managed to pick the child lock on the drawer claiming that it was the only way to cut up the cardboard they meant to build into a fort.

Asriel didn't know she was the reason for the child lock was in place.

She reached beside the bet, pulling the long blade into the dim light. Chara turned it over in her hands examining it from every angle. The blade wasn't as sharp as it used to be.  

She rolled up one sleeve on her pajamas.

Chara pressed the blade against the old scars and with an exhale slid the blade horizontally.  A familiar sting spread across her skin. They reached for a tissue to catch any stray blood drips, watching it ooze from the new wound with heavy eyes.  She thought about all the times she wanted nothing more then to properly slit her wrists or leap from a high place just to make it end.

What she wouldn't give to forget people kicking dirt in her face or beating her or calling her a demon.  She cut herself again a centimeter below the first.

There was a lot of blood now. She used to cry when she had to do this, not anymore. All tears had dried replaced with silently begging for death.

She paused a moment, looking at the knife again. Slowly she raised it pointing the tip at her chin, the tip pricking her slightly.  She thought about it. But in the end just wanted to know what it felt like.

The bloodshed had redirected her pain, she felt a little better.

Slipping the knife back into it's hiding place she still wanted to punch herself and cause dark bruises on her arms or take some medicine she really shouldn't.

The only reason: she hated herself.

She kept thinking these morbid thoughts. Drown in a bathtub, drink cleaning products, pick a fight with the wrong person, slit her throat-

"Chara?"  
She tensed up hearing his voice.  
"Chara, your arm..."

She kept silent, staring blankly at the wall in front of her.  She heard Asriel get out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom and back, now with a first aid kit.  The cuts weren't deep so all that needed to be done was to plaster a few bandaids over them. 

He asked what had happened,

"Nothing." She knew Asriel, though a goof, wasn't stupid.  She knew she couldn't keep her problems a secret forever.  
"We have to tell mom."  
"No!"  
Silence.  
"Chara... Why then?" for once it didn't take any convincing.  
She still said nothing.  Asriel embraced her.

"I'll never understand... but you don't need to do this alright...? Please don't do things like this, I love you."  
Chara only blinked back tears.

For once these words felt genuine.

**Author's Note:**

> Though they default to feminine and neutral pronouns my Chara doesn't care about anything to do with gender.  
> Basically refer to them how you want in the comments.


End file.
